CBS – bringing the rest of Paramount – back to its longtime upfront home, Carnegie Hall, and the network’s late night host, Stephen Colbert, returns to the stage with his employer.
“The moment my boss at Paramount asked me to introduce myself in advance, I jumped at the chance … to read my contract and find out what I had to do,” he opened his monologue. “Love this year’s theme,‘ It’s Time ’, much better than last year’s theme,‘ You’re Silent, ’” he added, referring to the virtual nature of the network over the past two years.
“Right now, seven years later, I am experiencing this progress. I started working at this company when it was just called CBS, it was ViacomCBS, now it’s Paramount and next week it will be Elon Musk change our name.
Tesla CEO Musk, of course, could become a media mogul through his on-front, off-action on Twitter.
Colbert also dismantled criminal practices that dominated the CBS lineup.
“The Paramount lineup includes many great methods based on all of your favorite official acronyms, CSI, FBI, SWAT, NCIS, NCIS, Los Angeles, NCIS: Hawaii, NCISCSI, NCIS Hearts Abhisola“And this fall, the office of the National Institute of Standards and Technologies and weights and measures like you’ve never seen before,” he said. NISTICALY You wait when the scales of justice need to be balanced. “
And if “sexy guys solve sexy corpse killings” isn’t the spectator thing, Paramount Hall is home to many high octane pulse pounding sports like the NFL, March Madness, MMA, Pickle Ball. Or, if you’re not into sports, there’s always football. “
Colbert also mentioned the pending departure of CBS late night host James Corden. “We still have one more year to rent a karaoke car,” said Colbert, who also acknowledges comedy central late-night host Trevor Noah.
Colbert was followed by his late co-host Jimmy Kimmel, who announced during his roast at the ABC Upfront presentation yesterday that he had received a second Covid, which had happened to Colbert in the past few weeks.
“I don’t know if you’ve read it recently, I’ve been cowardly twice. And do you know what they say? Give me Covid once, shame on you. Give me Covid twice, please stop giving me Covid. Jimmy Kimmel knows what I’m talking about. You stole my bit, Jimmy. “
Since he has had covid twice, Colbert said his doctors told him he was “clearly super immune” now.
“I could lick each of you. And if it takes you a while to advertise Blue bloodThen line up, ”Colbert said.